Every chance I get, I take a walk downtown, step into Binion's and get my picture taken with a million bucks. If I can't look like a million bucks, I can at least look like I'm standing near a million bucks. It takes half an hour for your photo to be processed, so in the meantime you canamble around Binion's or go wandering up and down Fremont Street checking out the sights (or, in my case, using coupons for a free beer or breakfast wrap). (Or scouring the streets for loose change.) When your picture's ready you can go pick it up by looking for it in the stacks of pictures waiting at the Player's Club desk. This is one of my favorite parts of the process, because you get to look at all the pictures everyone else took and see how they posed. One classic shot had three burly guys about to come to blows over the money while their diminutive friend frantically tried to play peacemaker in the middle.
I've been doing this for a while, and some old-timers might remember that Back In The Day, the million dollars was in the form of an uncut sheet of $10,000 bills that hung in a glass case along one wall. This was before those wacky Binion kids inherited the place and, I guess, ran it into the ground, because years later a vendor outside the World Series of Poker was selling what he claimed was one of the $10,000 bills from the famed "Binion's Sheet." Who sells an uncut sheet of $10,000 bills so someone can break it up? Those same wacky Binion kids who ended up having to sell the casino to someone who only wanted it for the rights to the WSOP, that's sho.
Here's our big tip for the day, and it's a safety tip! If you're crossing the courtyard on your way to the El Cortez after it's just rained, watch your step. Those bricks are real slick after they get some rain on them. I'm guessing rain in Vegas isn't something the planners thought they'd encounter frequently, but we got quite a bit at the end of February. Since I had to go downtown anyway and visit the post office, I was on my way to the El Cortez to cash in a coupon for a Free Gift that expired after the end of the month. Turns out I had my choice of a deck of cards or a pair of dice. This would have posed quite the dilemma if the El Cortez hadn't been kind enough to mail me two coupons, the other of which is good through the month of March, so I could go back any time for those dice. Today, even.
On a rainy day it's natural to seek cover, so I headed for the canopy overhanging the Fremont Street Experience. On my way I passed the notorious Heart Attack Grill, which makes the news every now and then when a diner suffers an actual heart attack after downing one of the Triple Bypass Burgers. None of that for me! Well...maybe I'd try that chili bacon dog one of these times. And hey, freebie hunters, look: "Over 350 Lbs. Eat Free!" And Vegas is just the kind of town where you can make that dream come true. Starting right here, I'd imagine.
Next stop: The free slot pull at Binion's. You could win $2500! You won't, but you could. In any case you'll get a sheet of coupons, one of which is good for a free Las Vegas keychain from the discount clothier in the back, past the Player's Club. While you're there you could check out the racks of t-shirts and sweatshirts in the $12-$15 range. And as long as you're at Binion's, you get one chance per day to have your picture taken with a million dollars. How often do you get your picture taken with a million bucks? If it's more often than this, you don't need my advice about making money. They say it's half an hour before you can pick up your picture (in its nice souvenir holder) at the Player's Club desk, but I figured I could still kill that much time and have an hour for the drive to my office, so I soldiered on. (By the way, the Four Queens also has a free slot pull. They also have a Tix 4 Tonight outlet where you can scope out the new issue of Vegas2Go or 24/7 for the latest coupons.)
Next I popped into Mermaids and bellied up to the counter at Nathan's Famous, where you can still order a deep-fried Twinkie (God bless America), although I was there to order the All-American Hot Dog with onions, $1.35 tax included. By the way, Mermaids, like La Bayou across the street, has drawings every hour for cash, where you could win $50, more or less. My advice: Show up first thing in the morning, when you may well be the only one in the place. Those are pretty good odds. I checked the winner's list once and the 8:00 a.m. and 8:30 a.m. winning tickets were consecutive ticket numbers.
On to the D, where I'd earlier valet parked my car. The D used to be Fitzgerald's but has undergone a youth-conscious makeover. Gone are the shamrocks and barley; now, at night, the dealers morph into young women in skimpy black fin de siècle dance hall girl outfits, and others clad in bikinis dance on bartops to that pounding beat. Nothing wrong with that, but by day it's still more of your typical casino ambience. I was there to use another coupon that expired after February, this one for a $10 match play. I was lucky enough to find an empty blackjack table where the dealer had just shuffled, but before she could deal the first hand some doofus sidled up, pulled out $100 in chips, and proceeded to play three hands...all badly, never hitting his 13 or 14 when the dealer was showing an Ace or face card, which no doubt contributed to my losing my match play and the next couple of hands for good measure...then got up and left. Great. I stuck around for a few more hands, won my money back, broke a $5 chip when I cashed in so I could tip the dealer (and the valet guy when I left), and took my leave.
Then back to Binion's to pick up my photo. On the way I passed these guys flipping and spinning ad placards in the air. There's always free entertainment on Fremont, but you never know what you're going to get. It can't be Lady Antebellum and Miranda Lambert every time. By the way, as I was driving away. I saw Wolverine and Capt. Jack Sparrow heading for Fremont to hit up the tourists. You never know who you'll run into on Fremont Street.
As I was headed back to my car, I surveyed the Slotzilla, the world's largest slot machine, installed at the end of the street. Not a big fan, as it and the receiving station for the zipline across Fremont which is also in the works partially obscure what was once an unobstructed view of the entirety of the Fremont Street Experience, the street-long LED display which runs different light and music spectaculars throughout the night. It was something to stand at one end of the street and be able to take in the whole panorama in its entirety. Well, the best view is probably somewhere in the middle, really.
And with that I'm off, $4.35 in tips and hot dogs poorer, but richer in cards, souvenirs, food and experiences. More coupons to use in March!
The Gamblers Book Club has moved to several locations in its long, storied and peripatetic career. When I finally made my first pilgrimage, it was residing in a small storefront on Eastern south of Tropicana, and I found myself in book collector heaven. Shelves and shelves of books, which despite repeated visits I've never managed to note down every title so I can add them to my to-be-read list. They'd frequently be visited by authors like Nicolas Pileggi and David Schwartz, some of whom were dropping by to be interviewed for their regular podcast. And aside from classic titles like Ovid Demaris's Green Felt Jungle and Doyle Brunson's How I Made A Million Dollars Playing Poker (the original title of his Super System), and all the latest titles on everything from Backgammon to the Mob, they had collectibles! Remnants of vanished casinos, like an El Rancho ashtray or, my personal favorite, bars of soap from the Stardust!
Gamblers Book Club has finally relocated to its old downtown stomping grounds, moving in with the Gamblers General Store at 800 block S. Main. (A clerk at the General Store told me the Book Club had bought them out.) Now more than ever, this is the one place anyone who's serious about studying their game, or anyone who's serious about collecting gaming paraphernalia, has to visit. The General Store was always a cool place, a veritable museum of ephemera like old slot machines and gaming tables, except that if you raked in enough chips at the casinos, you could actually buy them. Want an old Hooters blackjack table with a "Big Pair" bonus? Check. Your friends want to humiliate you into buying a deck of Hannah Montana playing cards? Check. Got twenty grand to blow on an old fruit machine? Check.
My advice? Go early and often. Show up on the weekend for a 10% discount. Don't forget, the American Casino Guide has a discount coupon as well!
If I ever go broke in Las Vegas, this will be the real reason why. Lost Vegas Antiques at 625 S. Las Vegas has some of the same campy collectibles you might find at any shop devoted to antiquated pop culture (Betty Boop! Elvis!), but with a heavy concentration of stuff related to the old Vegas casinos, as you might guess from the neon signs in the window for the Mint and the Sands. There's an age-21-and-over admission restriction, but once you get past the vintage showgirl photos, signed porn star pictures, 1960's Playboys, and old ads for Nevada brothels, there's a treasure trove of souvenirs from the fabled casinos of yore, from coffee mugs to ashtrays and jackets. Oh, sure, other vintage shops in town might have some chips, dice and matchbooks in a case or two at the front of the store; at Lost Vegas, they have buckets of the stuff to sift through until you find that one you've been looking for. I haven't been so happy since I was a preteen stamp collector rifling through the two-for-a-penny bin. One of the owners was telling me they used to be located in the Tropicana, and later at Neonopolis downtown. Their current location is nestled between Showgirl Video on one side and the Graceland Wedding Chapel on the other, and it just doesn't get more Vegas than that.
Hey, want an interesting collectible from your favorite casino? Next time you ask your cocktail server for a drink, ask if she'll bring a bottle of water with that. I assume you'll do the right thing and leave her a nice tip (like a buck), but even so you might get a great deal on a souvenir keepsake: Many casinos are now putting their own labels on their bottled water. Save one and take it home and you have quite the conversation piece. Besides, what other collectible can save your life if you're stranded in the desert, or at least help you out if your car's radiator boils over? If you are foolish enough to open it up and drink it, don't toss it in the trash to take up more space in a landfill somewhere; refill it and reuse it! Remember: Reduce! Reuse! Recycle! (Pictured, left to right: Sandia Casino, New Mexico; El Cortez, Las Vegas; Hooters Casino, Las Vegas; Margaritaville Casino, Biloxi; Route 66 "Party of the Decade" Limited Edition, New Mexico)
Hey, here's a bonus collectible for you: The Stratosphere doesn't put any cheap disposable plastic cups in their hotel rooms. Their cups are a heavier plastic, with a faux-frosted-glass finish, and the Stratosphere logo across the front. And: top-rack dishwasher safe! Don't toss them in the trash! Take them home and toss them in the dishwasher! Ask your housekeeper for extras and you can have a set of glasses that will be the envy of all your friends! Hey, anything we can do to make our Vegas trip greener and pick up some cool keepsakes while we're at it.
